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My guest for Episode #260 of the My Favorite Mistake podcast is Rachel Burch. She’s a lawyer turned transformational coach and stand-up comedian.
As host of the chart-topping podcast Love Before 100, Rachel chronicles her journey to find love while making her way down a dating scavenger hunt/bucket list.
Rachel lives with her two boys in Orange County, CA, where she enjoys long walks on the beach and short commutes on PCH. She’s obsessed with personal growth, all things woo and healthy living.
In this captivating episode of “My Favorite Mistake,” Mark Graban and Rachel Burch take listeners through a riveting journey from rigid law corridors to vibrant stand-up stages and intimate podcasting spaces. They unravel the interesting dynamics of creativity, touching upon the iterative nature of comedy and podcasting as platforms for exploration and growth.
They explore how bravery, resilience, and unwavering dedication play instrumental roles in one's creative journey. With an exceptional knack for intertwining insights on personal growth with humor, Rachel uses her experiences as platforms to connect on a human level, showcasing the powerful impact of storytelling. This episode serves to inspire individuals to embrace every facet of their journey, including their passions and dreams, and the importance of learning from mistakes.
Questions and Topics:
- How did the law degree help you with what you’re doing now?
- Did you want to be a comedian growing up??
- From lawyer to business owner to comedian – how to make big life changes?
- Developing stand up as an iterative process and testing ideas?
- Beginning as a podcaster??
- Tell us about Podcasting — “Love Before 100”
- “Launching your podcast isn’t the hard part. Making it worth listening to is.”
- Lessons about Growing a podcast – services for podcasters “Bingeable”
- What is your best piece of advice for people who want to start on their dream but are scared?
- What’s the worst advice someone could give?
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- Full transcript
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Automated Transcript (May Contain Mistakes)
Mark Graban:
Hi. Welcome to my favorite mistake. I'm Mark Graban. Our guest today is Rachel Burch. She is a lawyer turned transformational coach and stand up comedian.
Mark Graban:
As host of the chart-topping podcast Love Before 100, Rachel chronicles her journey to find love while making her way down a dating scavenger hunt slash bucket list. She lives with her two boys in Orange County, California, where she enjoys long walks on the beach and short commutes on the Pacific Coast Highway. She says she's obsessed with personal growth, all things woo, and healthy living. So, Rachel, thanks for being here. How are you?
Rachel Burch:
I'm good. Thanks for having me.
Mark Graban:
Yeah. How do you define woo? Is woo the same as woo woo? Not to get too sidetracked, it is.
Rachel Burch:
It is the same as woo-woo. But, you know, it's just half as much woo-woo as most people engage in.
Mark Graban:
Do you have a favorite woo activity?
Rachel Burch:
I do, actually. I pull angel cards every day just to kind of give me the message for the day. And I just kind of take it as my interpretation of what the day will hold for me. Not so much that, you know, the spirit guides are coming in and appearing to give me that information, but I don't know, it's just kind of a fun thing that I like to do.
Mark Graban:
Okay, well, that's a new one to me. When my wife and I lived in Southern California, I'll share the most woo thing we did was a breathwork class.
Rachel Burch:
Okay.
Mark Graban:
Where you lay there and it's guided breathing with music. And, you know, that was. That was pretty woo. I enjoyed it, though. We did it a second time, but I feel like I could do this at home.
Mark Graban:
I think.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah, public woo is kind of not for you.
Mark Graban:
Well, I mean, well, we're not in California anymore, so that doesn't feel like a very Cincinnati thing. Maybe I just haven't looked hard enough for. There's woo everywhere. Probably.
Rachel Burch:
Probably.
Mark Graban:
Okay, well, so now that my woo detour is off and behind us, now, let's get into the real topic here. This isn't a podcast about woo. It's a podcast about favorite mistakes. So, Rachel, what would you say is your favorite mistake?
Rachel Burch:
Well, it's funny because I've made many, as probably we all have, and I narrowed it down to two that are on the same path. And so I would say pursuing my childhood dream and not getting my childhood dream was to be a lawyer. And my law school offered a joint JD MBA program that I wanted to do, but I was discouraged from doing it because you wouldn't get a linking and then you couldn't kind of go along the traditional track that everybody does. So I didn't do it, and my mistake was not doing it.
Mark Graban:
So did the. The law school probably discouraged, or was it people giving you advice about your legal career?
Rachel Burch:
So it was my dad. He is a. Was kind of still is, but a very big litigator in Orange county, where we live. And he did a lot of hiring, and, you know, he knew the ins and outs of how to get a job. He really helped me.
Rachel Burch:
I mean, he was the inspiration for why I wanted to become a lawyer. Him and Matlock. I like to joke I was brainwashed by my dad and Matlock. So he really said, you're not going to have a ranking, and it's going to take you an extra year, and you won't be able to follow this traditional path that everyone wants to follow. So I didn't.
Mark Graban:
So when we can unpack both of these, I guess. So you did complete the law school program. You passed the bar. At what point did you decide that that childhood dream was a mistake, if.
Rachel Burch:
I heard you correctly, probably from, like, day one in my. The first law firm that I worked at, I was in the law for ten years, and I was in three different firms, and then I was general counsel. So I had a very good career, as, again, like, the traditional path really calls for. You know, I ended up graduating top 15% of my class, which was also a big achievement. And, you know, something that was very kind of important to follow that path and end up where I did.
Rachel Burch:
So, yes, I often share the story of being in my first year in this high rise building in downtown Los Angeles and realizing I had made a huge mistake. And it was around the time that there was in the news a lot of people on Wall street that would just jump out of the skyscrapers because they were so miserable. And for whatever reason they did. And I remember feeling like I can really understand why they might do that. I didn't plan on doing that.
Rachel Burch:
I wasn't at that point, but it was. It actually scared me that I thought, I can understand why they might think that was a better path than, like, letting down your family. You know what I mean?
Mark Graban:
Right. Why? I mean, you're not the first attorney to be on the podcast here, talking about that. Career choice.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah.
Mark Graban:
Being a mistake. At least one friend I can think of from college. I mean, and sadly, I mean, doctors quite often feel the same way. So I'm not picking on law, but I mean, what. I won't ask you to generalize it, but what was it for you that made you think, oh, this is not what I want to do, or how much of it was the, oh, I wish I'd done the MBA thing, because then I would have other options?
Rachel Burch:
Yeah. Well, I can say because I know a lot of attorneys from law school, from my different firms, you know, from just all different walks of life, and some of them love it and many of them don't. And I think the pressure, the pressure of, like, billable hours is something that I don't think people are properly prepared for. It's, you know, very intense, and there's a lot of the actual practice of law by itself, probably wouldn't be so bad, except that I envision being in court and litigating and, you know, kind of doing. Doing the things that I enjoyed, but on a day to day basis, you're sitting at your desk, you're writing memos, you're responding to form interrogatories, all this kind of discovery that is mind numbing.
Rachel Burch:
You know, it's a bunch of objections. It's the same. It's like Groundhog Day, but it's Groundhog day under, like, immense pressure. You know, I just remember googling so many times, like, non law jobs for lawyers, because I think when you start walking down a path, you get to a place where you think, well, I've already committed. I can't start over.
Rachel Burch:
I can't. You know, I have a coach. And he gives the example of, if you bought a first class ticket from LA to Paris and halfway through the engines cut out, you know, would you stay on the plane because you paid for your ticket, or would you grab the parachute, you know, and get the heck out of there? And so I think a lot of people feel like a time, a money commitment, an identity commitment. I mean, I loved being like, I'm a lawyer.
Rachel Burch:
I'm a lawyer, you know, going out to bars and college and being accepted to law school. Oh, I'm going to law school. You know, it was like a big kind of ego thing. And then to leave it is hard sometimes, too.
Mark Graban:
Well, then, like you said, the connection to your dad, how. How did he react when, when he heard you, you know, that you didn't feel like it was a good fit for you even though you had done well in law school? You met that challenge. I mean, how. How did he react?
Mark Graban:
Did he try to coach you through some of it? Like. Yeah, the. The grunt. It's grunt work, but it gets better.
Rachel Burch:
No, he was really supportive. Like, exceptionally supportive. Now, I went, you know, when I was general counsel. I ended up going part time because my son had some developmental delays, and so I went part time to really tend to him, you know? And I like to kind of say that it finally took an acceptable reason to leave the law.
Rachel Burch:
Like, I can't say, oh, I'm so brave. I parachuted out of the plane. I was kind of like, oh, I have a reason. I have a legitimate reason that people. But then I didn't go back because my son ended up getting completely caught up, you know, doing.
Rachel Burch:
I went back to school and got my health coaching certification so I could kind of assist from that place. And once he was caught up, I was like, I'm not going back. I'm gonna start over. I'm gonna find something else. It was miserable there, so the bravery kind of kicked in there and has continued to.
Rachel Burch:
But he was exceptionally supportive. I.
Mark Graban:
Good.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah.
Mark Graban:
Thinking back to. I mean, did you think about going back and doing an MBA? Or. I mean, had people said that would be. Would that have been doable to be working as an attorney?
Mark Graban:
You don't have the time to go get an MBA, even part time.
Rachel Burch:
You know, it's funny, I just. As I was kind of getting my hair done for this interview, I was thinking about our conversation and what it might look like, and I have. This is the woo part. I have a belief that, like, everything's always working out. We go through the experiences that we're supposed to.
Rachel Burch:
I'm not going to consider law school a waste of ten years. I met my ex husband there. I have two kids from it that I wouldn't have. I can now threaten class actions to any, you know, business that upsets me. So I have, you know, I've written cease and desist letters to, like, my son's school.
Rachel Burch:
I haven't sent them, but it gives me a sense of power, so I don't regret any of it. But as I was getting ready, I thought I could go back to get my MBA now. Like it hadn't occurred to me, but I thought I could do that now and maybe I'd meet my second husband there. But then I thought, well, he'd probably be in his twenties, so that would probably be a bad thing.
Mark Graban:
Well, executive MBA programs tend to have a little bit older student population. Here I am giving dating advice.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah. Okay, so that's where I don't kid me.
Mark Graban:
I mean. But, yeah, I mean, you could. You could go back and do that, or, you know, it's. You're pursuing as we'll talk about, you know, with the podcast love before 100, I mean, do you feel like the law degree has helped set you up now for things that you've transitioned into, at least coaching and comedy?
Rachel Burch:
Yeah, I definitely found in coaching that when I would ask questions of my clients, I could kind of, you know, they. They teach you issue spotting in law school, and so it's kind of like I could spot the issues of why somebody was holding back or what they're thought. So they go, I never thought of it that way. And then, so I really did learn the. The art of asking good questions for comedy.
Rachel Burch:
It, I guess, gave me a little confidence in standing up in front of a room full of people and, you know, state in your case, and it definitely gave me material. So, yeah.
Mark Graban:
Is there any room for an attorney in the courtroom to try to be funny, like, to get the jury kind of liking you, or, I mean, like.
Rachel Burch:
Well, it depends on the judge, for sure.
Mark Graban:
Yeah.
Rachel Burch:
And for me, I was always second chair, so my jokes were usually making fun of the partner that was first chair when we got back to the.
Mark Graban:
Law firm, but to that partner's face.
Rachel Burch:
Or no workers, sometimes.
Mark Graban:
Sometimes you weren't trying to parachute out of that career immediately.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah, exactly.
Mark Graban:
A risky joke. Did you grow up wanting to be a comedian, or where did that kind of evolve from?
Rachel Burch:
So, in high school, I was voted best sense of humor, which was really surprising to me because I was so shy. I didn't realize that people actually really knew who I was or saw that side of me. Mostly it was like soccer practice where I would talk about the boys I had crushes on and how they were not interested in me. And so it was, you know, probably from there, and then I would say maybe. When I was an early attorney, my mom was very involved in different fundraisers and charities.
Rachel Burch:
And I went to this one event, and the woman had written a book called what would you do if you had no fear? And everyone had to go around and stand up and say what they would do if they had no fear. And I said I would travel the world performing stand up comedy because I was afraid of flying, and I was definitely afraid of, you know, getting up there and just bombing. That would have been the worst thing. And so I realized, oh, this is a deep desire of mine.
Rachel Burch:
So my nature is once I identify a desire, then I have to pursue it. So I took a class, and, you know, the classes, it's kind of like what they say about, like, making laws and making sausage. Like, you don't want to see the process because nobody would laugh. Nobody got anything. And then when I finally got up and performed, they had this graduation performance.
Rachel Burch:
Everybody laughed. And I was like, I knew I was funny, and I had one woman come up and take a picture with me afterwards, a stranger. She said, like, this is for when you're famous. And I thought, oh, okay. So it kind of took off from there.
Mark Graban:
Yeah. And so it seems like kind of a process. I remember. I think it's old now, like, more than 20 years old. Jerry Seinfeld.
Mark Graban:
There was a documentary, I think it was just called comedian, that showed how different comics and including Jerry Seinfeld, you see nowadays, it's the hour long Netflix special or it's the arena show. But how they test material in front of small audiences, late night New York comedy club. Try different phrasing, and it sounds like it's a very iterative process. And then you see the end result. I'm like, oh, brilliant.
Mark Graban:
Look what they did.
Rachel Burch:
Absolutely.
Mark Graban:
Can you tell us a little bit more about that process, maybe as you've experienced it and comedy shows that you've done well?
Rachel Burch:
So Bill Burr is one of my favorite comedians, and I saw him perform, and he was trying out new material, and it was awful. Like, it was awful. And then later, I think he actually made it into his Netflix special. It ended up being obviously fine tuned to the point where it was genius, but it has to be awful. And that's, that's kind of this whole, there's a book, the artist's way, and she talks about being a beginner in the creative process.
Rachel Burch:
And so with comedy, you. I did my first open mic finally. I've been doing comedy for ten years. I finally did my first open mic a couple, like, two weeks ago, because I was hosting a show last Saturday, and I hadn't performed in a year, so I wanted to get some of that stuff. And it was very hard.
Rachel Burch:
I didn't get very many laughs because comedy is definitely a process. And sometimes I'll be in the shower, and the best, like, way of phrasing something will come to me. Also, comedy is mostly energy, right? Like, if you were to ask me right now to tell you my set wouldn't be that funny, but when you're in a room full of other people potentially drinking, and there's just an energy, and you have that kind of, yeah, you can, you can see comedians like Louis CK, different comedians, they just make a facial expression, and everybody, you know, bursts out laughing. So it's honing mostly your, like, your energy and your confidence in being up there, not being afraid to not get a laugh, to keep going after that, you know, that's really kind of the skill of stand up comedy.
Mark Graban:
Yeah, well, like I said, in comedy club, you've shown up as audience. You've shown up expecting, being prepared to laugh.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah.
Mark Graban:
Especially if you're there seeing a comedian who, you know, you like. And that, that raises the expectation. So I imagine the bill birthing must have been jarring because you're like, I'm a fan. He's funny, but what, what's going on? But you realized it was part of that, that process.
Rachel Burch:
Well, they usually say, I'm just trying out some new material, too, which also, I don't know if that's the best thing, because you kind of come like, okay, this is, is gonna be kind of rough. Not sure where it's going, but, yeah, it was kind of jarring. It was very disappointing. But as a comedian, I can also see, like, okay, there's potential here. Like, for example, I got an Instagram ad for the other day for Girl Scout cookie smelling deodorant.
Rachel Burch:
The deodorant smells like Girl Scout cookies. And I was like, oh, this is something. I don't know what it is, but this is something. So I screenshotted it, and that was my first step. And then I just left it for a while.
Rachel Burch:
Then I sent it to a comedian that was coming to my show, and I said, you know, there's something here. And he said, you should wear it. And then I thought, oh, I gotta order it. So I ordered the girls. You know, they have do si do and Samoa flavored.
Rachel Burch:
Well, they don't call that anymore flavored or scented deodorant.
Mark Graban:
Don't. Don't eat the deodorant. Right.
Rachel Burch:
So I had it sent to me, and then, you know, I smelled it. I haven't worn it yet, but that's, like, the third step. And then kind of, like, seeing what comes of it. So, you know, if I showed up and I said, look at this funny deodorant I ordered, it would just kind of be like. But, like, it's going to take a couple months for me to really figure out, you know, how does this work?
Rachel Burch:
Do I wear, do I wear it to birthday parties? Do I, you know, like, do I wear it on dates? Like, where's the best place that you wear Girl Scout cookie scented deodorant? And, like, who are you attracting when you do? So it's an experimental kind of process.
Mark Graban:
Like that because there's a couple of directions that could go in. Yeah, so you're just waiting to see how that plays out. Yeah, exactly. From concepts to a joke. And then, you know, the what, the timing and the phrasing and, I mean, do you really get down into the weeds of, like, certain words are funnier than others?
Mark Graban:
Like, do si dos kind of funny sounding thing, right?
Rachel Burch:
Yes. And even. Even timing, one of the podcast episodes that I did, my editor edited out a space, and I was like, no, you got to put that back in. That's the whole joke. You've got to have timing.
Rachel Burch:
And that's, I think, what a lot of people miss. They're funny. You'll see a lot of people, presenters at things, try to make a joke and it doesn't land. And you're like, it is funny, but it's usually like, they rush through it. Just like, add a beat and you'll crack everybody up.
Mark Graban:
Yeah, yeah. So how was the process for you then, as a podcaster? Was that a similar development going into comedy, starting a podcast? Do you feel like, well, I don't put words in your mouth and I'm going to be bad at it before I get better? Or how do you think about developing the podcast?
Mark Graban:
Love before 100.
Rachel Burch:
So, love before 100 was my second podcast. I had one before, which is not out there anymore because I kept the RSS feed. But what happened with that one was I just felt like I need a podcast. And I hear this from a lot of people, and some people actually make like, there's too many out there. There's not too many out there.
Rachel Burch:
It's still, like a very early kind of adopter space. So especially people that continue with it. I mean, the number of podcasts that die after one episode is, like, mind boggling. But for me, I knew I needed one, and so that was the first step. And then I talked.
Mark Graban:
Dig into that a little bit. When you say I needed one, like thinking as a coach, as a comedian.
Rachel Burch:
Both as a coach, definitely as a coach. And I was in a group coaching program at the time with probably 150 other coaches. We had live events, and we had them all over the world. And so I told my coach on one of our group calls, I bought a podcasting course. I went through it.
Rachel Burch:
It took me from when I bought it to when I actually did it. It was a six week course. It was three months before I even opened the course. Right? I do everything kind of like that.
Rachel Burch:
And then one weekend, I felt inspired and I binged the whole course. I recorded my first, which ended up being my second episode and scheduled my third episode. So I had everything ready to go except the first episode, which was my intro, where I had to talk about myself, and I did not want to do that. I had a lot of resistance. And so I told my coach, and she said, well, that's fine.
Rachel Burch:
And our next event was in the south of France, and I had bought the tickets and the hotel and everything. She said, that's fine, but you can't come in to the event if your podcast isn't launched by the time you get there. And that was like, two weeks, you know, away.
Mark Graban:
Yeah.
Rachel Burch:
And so sometimes I need a push, and I was like, okay. So I sat down and recorded my first episode and launched it, and I had 67 episodes of that podcast. And then I was actually looking to launch season five of the last one, and I met with a producer. That's a whole woo story of how I connected with this guy who used to be the producer on the Bachelor Australia and the biggest loser, Australia. All these different reality shows, and I thought, oh, mine's kind of like a reality show.
Rachel Burch:
So this is perfect. And together, we kind of carved all the different ideas that I had and made this totally different show.
Mark Graban:
Yeah. Yeah. So tell us about the show. I mean, this is this chronicling your adventures? I don't know.
Mark Graban:
I don't normally ask, but, see, I don't normally ask personal questions, but I'm going to. How long have you been divorced? And is this just then wading back into dating life again, you thought, okay, well, podcast.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah. Yes. So I've been divorced seven years. I didn't date for many years after my divorce. I actually ended up going on a date.
Rachel Burch:
My first date in the south of France. When I was back there, it wasn't the same trip. It was a different one. Horrified. My friend set up a profile for me.
Rachel Burch:
She swiped for me, and she super swiped some die. It was the weirdest, the weirdest experience. But I knew it was funny. I knew it was, like, comedy material, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna put this away for some. Some day later.
Mark Graban:
Yeah.
Rachel Burch:
And then I didn't date anymore. That was enough to, like, turn me off. And then before COVID I dated a little bit, and then I stopped again. And so about two years ago, I decided, okay, I'm ready to meet somebody. Yeah, I do.
Rachel Burch:
Like, I had a lot of skepticism. I had success in a lot of areas of my life, but love, besides my ex husband, who I have nothing bad to say about, has not been one of those areas. And so I ended up meeting a man on a plane. On a plane ride. And we had a long distance fling, relationship, whatever, for a couple months, and then it kind of broke my heart because it didn't work out.
Mark Graban:
Yeah.
Rachel Burch:
And I thought, this is such a lonely, awful experience, I should probably make a podcast about it and share how lonely it is. And I talked about everything on my other podcast, but I never talked about dating because I'm typically a very private kind of person. But I really felt that it was my job to help people feel less alone, and it's worked. I've received random messages from strangers from Long beach, which is right up the road all the way to Denmark, just telling me, you know, thank you for sharing your story. You inspired me.
Rachel Burch:
I have one lady in Denmark who's in this really happy relationship, and she'll send me updates, and I just feel, like, so grateful that I get to be kind of a part of that. But, yeah, so it's. I take the personal development and the comedy and storytelling, and I, you know, take everyone along on the journey and try to make it entertaining, but also weave in personal development and spirituality and stuff like that.
Mark Graban:
Yeah. I mean, you know, and you shared, you know, career mistake with us. Maybe this podcast would have been a lot more popular if it was about, you know, love and relationship mistakes, like the song, the namesake song. My favorite mistake by Sheryl Crow was about a love mistake. Yeah, but that's not me.
Mark Graban:
I wouldn't enjoy hosting that show. So that's, you know, somebody. That's a show for somebody to host. But when, you know, I was going to ask love before 100, like, that's not a very optimistic timeframe.
Rachel Burch:
Well, it's like a double meaning because there's a bucket list, like a scavenger hunt. Right. That you referenced, and there's points for me to motivate me to do anything. I need rewards. And so it was kind of like, originally the list was go out with, you know, like, a fireman, a doctor, someone in the military, like a bald guy, a b list celebrity.
Rachel Burch:
It was like this list, and there were points, and then the more points I got, I would get, like, a new iPad or, like, something that I've been wanting to get myself. And over time, the list changed and the points changed. And so the concept was get find love before I hit 100 points or 100 years, whichever comes first.
Mark Graban:
Yeah. And then, you know, you talk about rankings, and you say you were in top 15% of your law school class, right?
Rachel Burch:
Yeah.
Mark Graban:
Then that podcast. There are podcast rankings. You got into the top 1% do I remember right?
Rachel Burch:
Yeah.
Mark Graban:
This podcast, or context is in the top three, but that's even a higher bar to go from top 3% to top 2% to top 1%. Yeah, I mean, that's. That's something. What do you think were some of the keys? You know, it says on your website, I think this is a great phrase.
Mark Graban:
Launching your podcast isn't the hard part. Making it worth listening to is. So how much of it is about just, boy, you know, you nail it with the content. It's compelling, it hooks people versus, I know, in a sort of like, quote unquote marketing.
Rachel Burch:
So I. All my marketing has been mostly word of mouth. I've done two paid ads on the overcast app, but other than that, so far it's been word of mouth. And at a recent podcasting convention that I went to, I heard that is the number one. That is the best way to really grow is word of mouth.
Rachel Burch:
If you love Mark's show and you're listening, share it with one of your friends, because, you know, it's hard work to do podcasts, and I think it's a great way to thank the podcaster is to share your love, whether you message them directly. I love screenshotting stories or reviews and sharing them. I would say my success has been from my listeners, and I try to thank them as much as possible. I even say they're like my virtual wing person. Like, I would not be dating seriously if it wasn't for my podcast.
Rachel Burch:
And if nobody was listening, there'd be no reason to do it. So I often thank them for just keeping me putting myself out there.
Mark Graban:
That's a great tip. And I hear that when I listen to the podcast, I'll say to the listener, thank you for taking time, because, I mean, there's so many things. Look, I mean, people could be reading, listening, netflixing, going for a walk without their earbuds in. I mean, there are just so many different things people can do with their time.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah, absolutely.
Mark Graban:
It really is nice when someone gives you the gift of listening.
Rachel Burch:
Absolutely.
Mark Graban:
Or the gift. The gift of sharing your insights and experiences with us here. Rachel, I'd love to hear a little bit also about your coaching work. Like, does anyone grow up saying, I will someday I'm going to be a coach?
Rachel Burch:
I mean, probably now these days. But, you know, I've been doing it for about nine years now, and it really was, you know, they call you counselor when you're a lawyer. That's one of the terms for it. And I really, you know, I used to say giving unsolicited advice was my love language. I mean, it just, like, not, it wasn't.
Rachel Burch:
I still have to tell my sister, people pay me thousands of dollars for what you're getting for free, and you're like, you know, basically covering your ears, but that's fine. I it's interesting because I, it sounds weird to say this, but I really want to help people and the way that I want to help people and not all people, because not everybody's nice, you know, like, there's a lot of miserable people out there. I want to help them not be miserable. But again, it's the people that are willing to do the work and are willing to show up for themselves and not be rescued necessarily. But it's, it's a form.
Rachel Burch:
It's, it's teaching, it's sharing, it's helping. I think it's just kind of who I really was born to be. And I think that was kind of part of the mistake was that I didn't really tune into that part of me. It was more like, I want to be like my dad and Matlock, and it seems fun to be in court and solve cases, but the way I like doing that is through coaching people and connecting with them and learning how.
Mark Graban:
To ask questions is different than, like, it's a different style of it than interrogating someone.
Rachel Burch:
Right.
Mark Graban:
A coachee doesn't want to feel interrogated, but they're looking for insight of the questions or the observations you might have as a somewhat less or unbiased observer.
Rachel Burch:
Well, the reason it's good is because they're the ones with the answers they know and they're articulating. They actually are hearing the themselves say what the problem is or what the solution is. It's them that's, you know, coming up with it. And so then usually that's when I use comedy to kind of, you know, if there's something hard or particularly uncomfortable there, I'll use comedy to kind of point out how ridiculous, you know, the situation they've created for themselves is or the limitations that they're living by. You know, we talk a lot about fighting for your own limitations.
Rachel Burch:
A lot of people will try to convince you of why they're limited and why they're unable to do something. And. And I do it, too. I find myself doing it, too. I found myself doing it when I was considering season four of the podcast.
Rachel Burch:
So it's, you know, it's not a judgment, but it's like, it's important that we see that in ourselves.
Mark Graban:
Yeah. Or even as you talked yourself into leaving the legal profession. I mean, you know, sometimes these, these decisions are difficult. And, you know, people have reasons to change. They have reasons not to change, you know, and to help work someone through that process.
Mark Graban:
I think it's interesting to try to turn, when people are talking about the reasons they can't. I don't do, I mean, I think I find it helpful in consulting work that I do to try to help turn that. And so. Well, tell me why this idea or this dream or whatever you're trying to do. Tell me why it's important.
Mark Graban:
And getting them to talk about the positive reasons why instead of the barriers can be helpful. Barriers might be real, but some of it's just that mental orientation of, oh, well, this is important, so I'll figure it out. I'll get there.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah, exactly. Reframing. I like to reframe kind of the, the viewpoint. And then also doctor Michael Bernard Beckwith, he talks about asking better questions. So people be like, you know, there's no way I could do this.
Rachel Burch:
And it's like, well, how could you? How could you do this? You know, I found myself asking that yesterday and I thought, oh, look at all these possibilities that open up when I, instead of saying, I can't, how could I? So.
Mark Graban:
Right, yeah, how could I? How might we? Those are powerful questions. I notice they're open ended questions, which makes me think of, and this is more of, like in the, in the Steven Wright brand of comedy, perhaps. I'm not a comedian, but ubi, I do like to ask people with a fairly deadpan tone, do you like open ended questions?
Rachel Burch:
That's funny.
Mark Graban:
It's kind of a very specific funny to a certain audience.
Rachel Burch:
So no Netflix, not an open ended question.
Mark Graban:
Exactly.
Rachel Burch:
Just for the listener who may not have caught it.
Mark Graban:
And the, and Rachel was laughing. See, like, when people are just listening, sometimes people are smiling. See, like right now. Okay, now you hear it, right? She was laughing.
Mark Graban:
She react.
Rachel Burch:
I was laughing.
Mark Graban:
I didn't bother.
Rachel Burch:
Also, like I said, if you were on stage, you would have killed.
Mark Graban:
But, well, and again, I'm not saying I had any great delivery there, but thank you. Thank you for laughing at that.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah.
Mark Graban:
And then you went and explained my joke.
Rachel Burch:
Just in case. I mean, I get in trouble. My ex husband used to, he was like, you cannot talk to the people that come into the house to do any, like, services. I, one time there was a plumber, and he explained to me this very intricate procedure that he was going to perform on my sink. And it just went right over my head.
Rachel Burch:
So I said, are you a real plumber joking? Obviously he didn't think it was funny. He billed me extra and I was like, it was, it was a joke. I was just saying, like, I don't have any clue what you're even talking about. So some people, you could try that.
Mark Graban:
With a doctor sometime.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah, exactly.
Mark Graban:
Well, our guest today has been Rachel Birch. The podcast is Love Before 100. And I'll put links in the show notes to social media and the podcast and website. I think one other question maybe here to wrap up here, you've made different career transitions. You've had life transitions.
Mark Graban:
Maybe the podcast and the dating is an ongoing transition, but whether it's through what you've lived through or coaching others, what advice do you have for people who are looking to make some sort of change or pursue a dream, but they find themselves in that situation? You shared about of being a little scared or uncertain.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah. So read books for sure. One of my favorite for people, that there's a chapter in the book, Think and Grow Rich, the persistence chapter, chapter eight in my volume. But, and I did this exercise a long time ago. Bob Proctor, before he passed, had recommended it on one of his coaching calls.
Rachel Burch:
And he said, wake up at 05:30 a.m. find two people in your same time zone. So it's also 05:30 a.m. for them. And read the persistence chapter every day for 90 days.
Rachel Burch:
And I did that a couple years ago with two friends, and I can still recite parts of it from memory. And it really burned into me, the idea of persistence, that you just keep going and you don't quit. And so once you have that, if you, if this is a true heart's desire goal and you have persistence, nothing can stop you, but you have to make sure one, that it's an actual heart desire goal and not influenced from family or, you know, the public or shoulds or any of that kind of stuff. And then you have to make sure that you have the persistence to keep going. And if you have those two ingredients, then you'll hit it.
Mark Graban:
Yeah. And then. I know. So I'm going to talk about how the sausage is made.
Rachel Burch:
Right.
Mark Graban:
I've come up with a lot of my own questions, but when people are guests on a podcast like Rachel, sometimes there are suggested questions. And that last one I asked was a suggested question that I thought was good. Well, I'm going to flip that on you and put you on the spot. What would be the worst advice? The worst advice that someone could give to somebody in that situation.
Rachel Burch:
First of all, I forgot that I asked that question, but I thought, oh, that's a good question. So I'm very impressed with of myself and you. Right now, the worst advice is going to people who haven't achieved what you want to achieve for advice on how to reach that goal. There's a lot of opinions out there, a lot of people that want to, you know, tell you why you shouldn't do something. So my dad, who I love and I look up to and I think is one of the greatest people in the entire world, I bought a car that was older than me, and he thought it was the craziest, dumbest idea that I could have possibly done.
Rachel Burch:
My dad's not a car guy. I'm not a car girl, but I am a vintage Bronco girl. And it was a vintage bronco, and I ended up selling it for a variety of reasons. But I made my money back. Every dollar I spent, even on gas, even on insurance, on everything.
Rachel Burch:
Plus I made a profit on it. If I still had it, I would have made an even greater profit. But my dad thought I was crazy and was completely against it. And I love him, and I respect his opinion, but he doesn't know about what I was trying to do.
Mark Graban:
Yeah.
Rachel Burch:
And so the worst. The worst thing that you could possibly do is go to somebody that doesn't understand exactly what it is that you're doing that hasn't achieved what you're doing, or at least attempted it for their input.
Mark Graban:
Yeah. So if someone wanted help on building a top 1% podcast, they could talk to you. You've done that.
Rachel Burch:
I've done that. They could come to me.
Mark Graban:
You've done that. You mentioned the Bronco. I'm going to end on a. Were you an arrested development fan?
Rachel Burch:
A little bit. Because it was based in Orange county.
Mark Graban:
Set in Orange county. And there's an episode. This might seem indelicate considering recent news, and OJ Simpson passed away, and. But there was an episode where they were talking about the Ford Bronco, and one of the characters said, like, oh, Ford had to rename that because of the whole OJ Simpson thing. Oh, what.
Mark Graban:
What are they calling it now? The escape. Ford escape. Real. Real vehicle.
Mark Graban:
And, like, I can only imagine, like, yeah, life is funnier than fiction sometimes.
Rachel Burch:
Sometimes.
Mark Graban:
That's an odd note for me to end that on. Nothing funny. Well, arrested development funny.
Rachel Burch:
Arrested development is funny plus material.
Mark Graban:
Yeah. So if I bombed, I'm going to keep going at it. So this is why we'll leave comedy to the professionals. Rachel Burch, thank you for being here as a professional coach, recovering attorney, stand up comedian. This has been fun.
Mark Graban:
Thank you for being a guest here and sharing your story, having the conversation.
Rachel Burch:
Yeah, thanks for having me. It was my pleasure.
Mark Graban:
All right, thanks.
Episode Summary and More
From Law to Laughter: The Journey of Transformation
The path to personal and professional fulfillment seldom runs straight. Many individuals embark on careers only to find that their true calling lies elsewhere, far from their initial aspirations. This is a story not just about changing careers but about transformation, personal growth, and the pursuit of happiness. The journey from being a lawyer to finding joy in coaching and comedy underscores the importance of listening to one's inner voice and daring to embrace change.
Embracing Personal Growth and Transformation
Rachel's journey highlights the bravery required to step away from a traditional, well-respected profession to pursue passions that bring genuine joy and fulfillment. The decision to leave the legal profession was not made lightly. It stemmed from a deep sense of misalignment between her personal values and the day-to-day realities of her work as a lawyer. This misalignment is a common feeling among many professionals who find themselves in careers that do not resonate with their true selves.
Personal growth and transformation require introspection and the courage to ask oneself hard questions about happiness, fulfillment, and purpose. Rachel's story is a testament to the power of pursuing personal growth, even when it means leaving behind a career that no longer serves one's higher goals. Through her journey, she explores various facets of her personality, from embracing the world of “woo” and personal development practices to stepping into the realm of comedy and podcasting. Each step on her path is marked by a desire for deeper understanding and a pursuit of joy.
The Importance of Woo in Personal Transformation
The concept of “woo” or “woo woo” often encompasses practices that are considered outside the mainstream, focusing on spiritual and personal development. For Rachel, engaging in practices such as pulling angel cards represents more than just a curiosity about the future; it is a daily ritual that grounds her, providing insights and guidance as she navigates her life's path. This embrace of the unconventional stands as a reminder that personal transformation often requires stepping outside of one's comfort zone and exploring new, sometimes unconventional, paths to self-discovery.
The story also touches on the broader acceptance of “woo” practices in different geographical and social contexts. Moving from California, a place known for its openness to various forms of personal development and spiritual practices, to areas where such openness may not be as prevalent, reflects the sometimes challenging journey of maintaining one's practices and beliefs in the face of differing societal norms.
Finding Fulfillment Beyond Traditional Career Paths
The narrative of pursuing a childhood dream only to find it unfulfilling is a common one. Rachel's initial pursuit of a law degree, driven by familial influence and a desire to follow a traditional path to success, ultimately does not lead to the fulfillment she seeks. The realization that success and happiness are not always aligned is a powerful lesson. It highlights the importance of being true to oneself, even when it means deviating from the expected path.
The decision not to pursue a joint JD/MBA program, despite its potential to open different career avenues, speaks to the pressures and expectations that can influence career choices. However, Rachel's eventual departure from law to explore health coaching, comedy, and podcasting serves as a beacon for those yearning to follow their passions. It underscores that it is never too late to change direction, pursue new interests, and seek fulfillment in ways that resonate with one's true self.
Conclusion
Rachel's journey from a lawyer to a transformational coach and stand-up comedian is a vibrant example of the possibilities that await when we dare to listen to our inner voice and embrace change. Her story embodies the essence of personal growth, the significance of “woo” in her life, and the courage it takes to find fulfillment beyond traditional career paths. In a world that often values conformity and traditional success, stories like Rachel's inspire us to pursue our own paths to happiness and fulfillment, regardless of where they may lead.
Navigating the Creative Process in Comedy and Podcasting
The Iterative Nature of Comedy
Rachel's experience in stand-up comedy offers a fascinating glimpse into the often opaque world of creative arts. Comedy, much like any other creative endeavor, is an iterative process. It involves continuously refining material based on audience reactions, which are immediate and often brutally honest. The process, as Rachel describes, starts with an idea that may seem quirky or even nonsensical at first – like Girl Scout cookie-scented deodorant. This initial idea undergoes various stages of development, from an initial thought to a fully fleshed-out joke performed on stage.
The journey of a single joke, from inception to execution, encapsulates the essence of stand-up comedy. It's a craft that demands resilience, as initial attempts can often lead to silence instead of laughter. However, it's this process of trial and error, of tweaking timing, phrasing, and delivery, that leads to the polished performances we see in specials and shows.
Podcasting as a Platform for Exploration and Growth
Transferring the skills honed in stand-up to podcasting, Rachel approaches her podcast ventures with a similar mindset of growth and exploration. Starting a podcast, especially one as personal as Love Before 100, presented its own set of challenges and learning curves. Podcasting, while lacking the immediate feedback loop of live comedy, still requires an understanding of audience engagement and content refinement over time.
In her podcasting journey, Rachel highlights the importance of vulnerability, especially when discussing topics as personal as dating and relationships post-divorce. This openness not only serves to connect with listeners on a deeper level but also underscores the therapeutic aspect of sharing one’s experiences, mistakes, and lessons learned. The impact of her storytelling extends beyond entertainment, providing solace and companionship to those navigating their own journeys of love and self-discovery.
The Link Between Comedy and Personal Development
At the heart of Rachel’s transition from law to coaching, comedy, and podcasting is a deeper pursuit of personal development. Comedy and podcasting become avenues for exploration and self-expression, allowing Rachel to intertwine her insights on personal growth with humor and relatability. The iterative nature of refining a joke parallels the process of personal growth and self-improvement – both require persistence, resilience, and the willingness to learn from feedback.
Moreover, Rachel’s engagement with her audience, through both stand-up and podcasting, illustrates the importance of connection. Whether it’s making someone laugh about the absurdities of life or sharing a personal story that resonates, the ability to connect on a human level is powerful. This aspect of her work not only enhances her own journey of personal transformation but also facilitates a shared space for growth and healing among her audience.
Embracing the Journey
Rachel’s narrative encapsulates the essence of creativity as a journey rather than a destination. Whether it’s navigating the highs and lows of stand-up comedy or sharing life lessons through podcasting, the underlying theme is one of continuous learning and adaptation. Her story serves as a reminder that embracing one’s passions, despite the uncertainties and potential for failure, can lead to unexpected opportunities for fulfillment and joy.
In a broader sense, Rachel’s shift from practicing law to pursuing comedy and podcasting underscores a universal truth: that finding one's true calling often requires stepping out of comfort zones and taking risks. Her journey embodies the courage to pursue what truly brings joy and meaning, showcasing the transformative power of following one's passions, no matter where they may lead.
Leveraging Humor in Coaching
Rachel's integration of comedy into her coaching practice presents an innovative approach to dealing with challenging situations and personal limitations. Using humor as a tool, she enables her clients to see the absurdity in their own narratives and self-imposed restrictions. This method not only lightens the mood but also provides a fresh perspective, making it easier for people to confront and overcome their barriers. It reflects a unique blend of skills, demonstrating how the nuances of comedic timing and delivery can be effectively applied outside traditional entertainment spaces, fostering a constructive environment for personal growth and self-discovery.
Building Community Through Podcasting
The success of Rachel's podcast, Love Before 100, is a testament to the power of community engagement and word-of-mouth marketing in the digital era. Her approach underscores the importance of genuinely connecting with the audience, treating listeners as vital contributors to the podcast's journey rather than passive consumers. This community-centric model not only amplifies the reach of her podcast but also strengthens the bond between her and her audience, creating a supportive network that extends beyond the confines of the podcast itself.
Rachel’s emphasis on appreciating her listeners highlights a crucial aspect of content creation: acknowledging the audience's role in a project's success. This reciprocal relationship between podcasters and their audience is integral, especially in niche topics where community support can significantly impact a podcast's visibility and growth.
The Role of Persistence in Achieving Dreams
Reflecting on the advice for individuals aiming to pursue their goals, Rachel champions the virtue of persistence. She suggests that achieving a heartfelt goal is possible with unwavering determination and the right mindset. Her recommendation to engage with inspiring literature, like the persistence chapter from Think and Grow Rich, and her personal anecdote of participating in a 90-day reading challenge, illustrate how immersing oneself in motivational content can scaffold the persistence needed to overcome obstacles.
This idea is not just about blind tenacity but about aligning one’s efforts with deeply personal aspirations, ensuring that the pursuit is fueled by genuine desire rather than external expectations or pressures. Rachel's narrative serves as a reminder that persistence, coupled with a clear understanding of one’s goals, can navigate the path toward realization despite the challenges that may arise.
Seeking Guidance from Successful Individuals
One of the critical pieces of advice Rachel offers is the importance of seeking guidance from those who have already achieved success in the area one aspires to excel in. This approach is based on the premise that learning from those who have navigated similar paths can provide valuable insights and strategies that are otherwise hard to come by. It’s a caution against the well-meaning but potentially misguided advice from individuals who may not have relevant experience or achievements in the desired field.
Her personal story about purchasing a vintage bronco—despite her father's skepticism—demonstrates the value of trusting one's instincts and learning from those with direct experience, rather than relying solely on guidance from those who might not share the same vision or understanding of one's passions.
Conclusion
In essence, Rachel's journey from law to coaching, comedy, and podcasting illustrates the multifaceted nature of creative and personal growth. Through her experiences, she illuminates the importance of adaptability, the power of community, the significance of a supportive network, and the role of personal conviction in overcoming challenges. Her story encourages us to embrace our unique paths, leveraging our individual talents and perspectives to make meaningful contributions, whether it's in the realm of comedy, podcasting, or any other endeavor driven by passion and perseverance.
Embracing Experimentation in Professional Paths
Rachel's multifaceted career journey underscores the beauty of experimentation across diverse fields—law, coaching, comedy, and podcasting. This exploration emphasizes the value of indulging one's curiosity and willingness to step outside traditional career trajectories. By daring to blend the seemingly disparate domains of comedy and coaching, Rachel highlights how versatility and openness to experimentation can pave the way for innovative practices and methodologies. It’s a narrative that encourages professionals to consider unconventional combinations in their work, promising not only personal fulfillment but also unique offerings that can distinguish one's services in competitive markets.
The Importance of Understanding Your Niche
Rachel's podcasting venture, Love Before 100, serves as a compelling case study in understanding and catering to a specific niche. By developing content that resonates deeply with a particular audience, Rachel has managed to cultivate a loyal community of listeners. The strategy here involves an in-depth understanding of the target audience’s preferences, pain points, and aspirations. This detailed knowledge allows for the creation of content that is not only engaging but also deeply relevant and valuable to the audience. For aspiring podcasters and content creators, delving into the nuances of one's niche and aligning content to meet the specific needs and interests of that audience can significantly amplify impact and engagement.
Strategic Networking and Learning
Rachel's advice on seeking guidance from successful predecessors is a potent reminder of the strategic importance of networking. Building relationships with individuals who have successfully achieved goals similar to one's aspirations can unlock a treasure trove of wisdom and insight. It's an approach that goes beyond mere networking, advocating for a mentorship mindset where one actively seeks out and engages with potential mentors in their field. This strategy is beneficial not only for gathering practical advice and tips but also for understanding the broader industry landscape, including potential pitfalls and opportunities. For individuals embarking on new ventures or career shifts, prioritizing this kind of strategic networking can dramatically accelerate the learning curve and increase the chances of success.
The Power of Resilience in Creativity
Drawing from Rachel's persistence in her endeavors—whether in reading motivational literature or pursuing unique career paths—the theme of resilience emerges as a cornerstone in the creative journey. The ability to persevere in the face of setbacks and to continue refining one’s craft, even when initial attempts might not yield the desired outcomes, is crucial. This resilience is particularly relevant in creative fields such as comedy and podcasting, where audience preferences can be unpredictable, and the path to success often requires a trial-and-error approach. Rachel's determination and commitment to her creative pursuits serve as an inspiring testament to the power of staying the course, learning from each experience, and continuously striving for improvement.
Continuous Learning and Improvement
The ethos of continuous learning and improvement runs through Rachel's narrative. Whether it's through engaging with inspiring literature, seeking feedback from trusted mentors, or reflecting on personal experiences, the pursuit of growth is a constant. This perspective is invaluable for professionals in any field, suggesting that one's development is an ongoing journey rather than a fixed destination. Emphasizing that mastery and success come from a willingness to learn, adapt, and evolve, Rachel's story advocates for a mindset of perpetual curiosity and openness to change, which can empower individuals to navigate their paths with confidence and agility.